In a recent interview with Tyra Banks for Banks new show FABLife, Sports Illustrated model Chrissy Teigen opened up about her struggles conceiving with husband John Legend and how that has influenced her response to pesky questions about the status of uterus.
“I will say honestly, John and I are having trouble,” Teigen said. “We would have kids five, six years ago if it’d happened. But my gosh, it’s been a process!”
She then went on to add, “So, anytime somebody asks me if I’m going to have kids, I’m like, ‘One day, you’re going to ask that to the wrong girl who’s really struggling, and it’s going to be really hurtful to them.’ And I hate that. So I hate it. Stop asking me!”
Banks then chimed in by sharing her own experience with being interrogated about whether or not she’s going to have kids.
“I am so tired of seeing on my social media. ‘Why don’t you have kids? Why don’t you have kids?'” she said. “You don’t know. You don’t know what I’m going through.”
Teigen and Banks together highlight the uncomfortable truth about asking a woman why she doesn’t have kids. Not only is the question intrusive, but it can also yield answers that you might not want to hear. In Teigen’s case, it isn’t because she doesn’t want children but because she is struggling with fertility issues, just like an estimated 7.4 million women in the United States.
In Banks’ case, however, it was a question of timing.
“When I was 23-years-old, I used to tell myself, ‘In three years I’m gonna have kids.’ Then I turned 24,” she said. “‘In three years I’m gonna have kids.’ And then just every single year I kept saying that. And then, after a while it’s like, OK, now I want to – and it’s not so easy.”
Whatever the backstory, whatever their reasons, some women don’t have kids, and it’s never, ever, ok to ask them why because you don’t know their story or struggle.